For wildlife enthusiasts, the term "critically endangered" is a sign that a certain wild species is on the brink of extinction. This level is beyond the more frequently used "endangered" status. There are several factors that serve as reasons why species reach this level. Commercial hunting and poaching are probably the more obvious reasons, but things like loss of habitat (rainforest destruction), pollutants, diseases, even climate change play major roles in the vitality of species around the globe.
What does this have to do with raising boys? Quite honestly, there's nothing more apparent to me in this life on a day-to-day basis than the critically endangered species we call a "real man." Real men are critically endangered for the same reasons as animals, it just looks different. Commercial hunting and poaching may not look the same as it does in the wild, but men fall victim to many schemes and traps that end up ruining not only their lives but those closest to them. When a man is told his worth is in the money he makes, some guys interpret this as getting money by any means necessary, the easiest and quickest way possible. The end result, in many instances, is prison. Did you know that in 2008, 1 out of every 18 men was behind bars? How do they get there you ask? By believing things about manhood that are not true.
Where do we normally see men as opposed to where men should be present. Lets look at jobs: how many male teachers have you had in your entire educational experience? You can probably count them on one hand. You'll find a ton of guys in business and engineering, even medicine (doctors more specifically). Why? Many "guys" find their worth in the jobs they have because it creates a sense of responsibility and even entitlement that we don't experience in any other area of our life. It also makes us feel "in control." We got the promotion because of our hardwork, we received the bonus because we exceeded our quota this quarter. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing like working hard for what we earn but when that becomes our focus, we tend to lose sight of what this life really is all about. Where do guys typically hang out? Many of our initial thoughts are bars, sporting events, or strip clubs. Did church pop up at all? Who hangs out at church, right? It's not that men are necessarily losing their habitat, it's just that they choose to gravitate to the wrong ones which inherently taints the concept of true manhood all together.
Pollutants and disease go hand-in-hand. It's all about consumption and proximity. What we take in through any of our senses and what we allow ourselves to be exposed to impacts who we are as men. The music we choose to listen to, the foods we eat, the alcohol or drugs we choose to ingest, the people we hang out with and influence us - it all matters. There's no way around it. Humans and animals alike depend on fresh air to breath, clean water to drink, and quality food to provide us with nutrients that give us life. If you eat spoiled food or inhale toxic fumes, we become sick and in some cases it becomes fatal. I've yet to find someone who prefers drinking water straight from one of the city's rivers over bottled water. Mentally it's the same thing. If we feed our minds junk, our lives will eventually show it. Even when we try to cover it up, we know what's really going on behind the scenes and it kills us even more holding all that crap in. There's no sugarcoating this one. It all starts so innocent - a little dirty joke, just one beer, a kiss. Addictions don't start overnight. Most guys are either in denial or totally oblivious and neither is a good excuse. It may not be meth or porn - what about money or success? Approval or acceptance? Power or control? It's a heart condition that we aren't equipped to fix on our own. We try our best to make sense of it all, by ourselves, but are left powerless because our knife has no power in this gun fight.
There's a solution to the problem though. Don't think I'd leave this conversation with no hope! For some critically endangered species, there is a time where a species is taken out of the "wild" and placed into captivity. The hope is to eventually return that species to it's natural habitat to thrive once again. Real men have taken the time in "captivity" to discover the right model in which to live. Sadly, most guys are just breathing to death - no goals, no real purpose or so many goals that their purpose is solely wrapped within themselves. In the next few blogs to come, I am going to share with you all what has opened my eyes to the reality of manhood and how we can help redefine it in our own lives so that others may do the same through our example.
